just makes sense
[the pics...the picture of the island is goff's caye. hand in hand took staff and friends there for a day of relaxing and fun. it was GORGEOUS. next there are a few of my housemates, just hanging out. one pic is of mr. bowen who is one of my favorite people here. i think he's great--i tell people that on his bad days, he talks nonsense and on his good days he's incredibly difficult to understand. in the states he would probably be diagnosed with a mental illness, but here he exists with no diagnosis and lives on the goodwill of others, mostly a gentleman named santos diaz. the last is a picture of a bunch of kids at the worksite of the last hand in hand house. as it happens so often in belize, the recipient of the house is the aunt of some of the kids that live in another hand in hand house. i tried to figure out the connection, but there were too many brother in laws and aunties for me to accurately pinpoint the relationship. everyone here seems to be related any which way, so i just accept that!]
well. june is almost over. the boys are leaving soon, starting with danny's departure on saturday! adam leaves on monday and then chris leaves thursday. YIKES. when did this happen!! where did this last year go? i was talking with monica about how i remember a few things, like our thanksgiving retreat and christmas day, but really, we can't seem to figure out where the rest of the year went!
i'm getting sad that the boys are leaving. it's just more transition and change. i've grown so used to them--their companionship, the community we've built. now we have a month of ins and outs of visitors and we begin again to build a new community when the new jvs come in august. that's what i signed up for though! we know the names of our newbies and i'm excited at the prospect of new faces, new challenges, new ideas. it's just the losing of the old community that i'm stuck on right now.
the good thing about the all this transition is that is makes me look at my life right now more critically. i absolutely would not be ready to leave belize right now and that's such a great feeling. each day for the past few weeks, i've really looked around to appreciate what i have here....the friends i've made, the outlets i've found, the beauty of the city.
my life makes sense here. it makes sense to me that i'm here...with no hot water, with no washing machine, with no television. it makes sense that i live in community, that i carry the vegetables i buy at the market home in my backpack on my bike, that i walk two blocks to the corner to buy $1 bananas, that we celebrated mass in my living room last night with fr. dan. it makes sense that i hail or get hailed by at least three people each time i go running, that i play dominoes with a developmentally disabled man and a blind man who both stay in a homeless shelter. it makes sense that no matter where i am before i eat...sitting with my housemates at dinner, waiting on the bus with my football team, standing in the street in honduras... i stop and thank God for the food in front of me and all who helped bring it to the table.
it just makes sense.
and i love that.
that doesn't mean that i don't miss home. i do. desperately sometimes. but i'm so happy that i see this world around me--the people, the water, the palm trees, the dust and dirt, the bikes and houses and shacks--and can recognize that my desire to do what God wants me to do is evident in my contentment with my surroundings. and i can only hope that i'm able to reciprocate a fraction of the blessings i receive here.